The Baby Avengers
by Firebird8000
Summary: Who would have thought that one small mistake could have turned most of the Avengers and a mischievous frost giant into tiny screaming babies in one night. And with no idea what the cure they cursed to be this way forever.
1. Hawk in the vents (Part 1)

Clint's pov

One night just the same as all the other ordinary nights, Clint climbed into the vents, pillow in one hand blanket in the other.

He was doing the exact same thing he did every other time he went the vents, spy on everyone without them knowing of course, he had become something like a human secret security system.

But tonight he was going to spy on his beautiful flawless Pietro, but that was only part of the reason, lately Loki had been up to his old tricks, causing trouble all over New York, we finally tracked him down and captured him in a cell, made just for him downstairs and knowing what he could, he was extra careful.

'That little mind controlling piece of shit won't touch you, not on my watch' I thought as I stared at Pietro's sleeping form.

Then I heard the familiar sound of Cap's door down the hall closing as he slipped out, Cap had been doing this a lot lately, always slipping silently out of the tower and going somewhere unknown.

'Where the hell do you keep going too Cap?', curiosity burned inside of me as I heard Cap quietly creep down the hall but I couldn't just leave Pietro with that asshole downstairs.

But as the I heard the elevator ding I couldn't resist, I mean what could possibly happen, anyway Tony and Bruce where in the lab and I wouldn't be gone that long, and with that I pulled my bow and arrows out of the rolled up blanket and jumped out vents.


	2. Hawk in the vents (Part 2)

Clint's pov

Stalking Captain America is harder than it sounds, I mean seriously, he's taking so much care to make sure that he isn't being followed, but luckily there wasn't a lot of people around on a old motorcycle.

Finally after a least an hour of following Cap through roads trying to avoid crashing into dozens of cars to keep Cap in sight and small alleyways, (scathing my seriously expensive purple car in the process).

He stopped in front of a small looking hotel, parking my car a fair distance away, I saw that there was only one light on and it was in the middle of the third floor, 'This is almost too easy' I thought as Cap wen though the front door of the hotel.

I picked up my bow and arrows and got out of my car, I needed to act fast if I was going to beat Cap up there. So I pulled one of my arrows and placed it on my bow, aimed then I thought 'Heck with this, I've got a better way'.

I looked around to check that there was no one was watching and extended my massive golden brown wings and flew up the window ledge then shrunk my wings into my back and sighed 'I should really spend more of my free time with my wings'.

I peered into the lighted room and seeing it was empty I opened the window and slipped inside and closed it silently behind me, and then I became painfully aware of the sound of running water and unfortunately the sound of closely approaching footsteps.

I quickly dashed behind Steve's tv just before Steve opened the door, on the other side of the room, and I noticed that the water I had heard before had stopped, then Steve closed the door and said "Bucky, it's Steve, are you here?" 'Bucky, whose Bucky?'.

And my question was answered when someone stepped of the bathroom and said "What, you seriously think that I would just leave without taking you with me".

'So this is Bucky' staring at the shirtless brunette who had just got out of Steve's bathroom, his wet brunette hair had been hastily tied back with strands flowing around his face along with dark brown eyes and a lazy smile, the light glinting off his metal arm.

Bucky walked up to Cap and said "So Stevie, did you bring any food?" In a hopeful voice and Cap just laughed and said "You'll just have to wait and see" then Bucky whined "But Stevie" 'Stevie, what a great name, he's never going to live that down' I thought while silently sniggering.

Bucky collapsed onto the couch, looking very disappointed and muttering something about "always hiding the food" 'Now that sounds like the Cap I know'.

Steve returned carrying a large bowl completely stuffed with foil wrapped chocolates, the sight of them made my mouth water and I realised that I hadn't eaten all day, and I wasn't the only one, Bucky looked like a kid on Christmas Day and when Steve was within arms length of the couch, Bucky tried to grab the away from Steve but Steve held them out of his reach and said "Can you wait until I have actually sat down" and Bucky just shrugged and smiled "Depends on how long you take, Stevie".

Cap laughing, sat down then Bucky made his second grab for the chocolates but Cap held them out of his reach and said "Don't want you getting fat, Buck" then he unwrapped one of the chocolates and put it in his mouth, Bucky growled "I'm not getting fat, now give me the chocolates, Steve".

Then something happened that I thought would never happened in a million years, Steve gave him a chocolate, I was stunned, usually when Steve knew there was chocolate in the Tower, it would the trash before you could say "But, Cap", now I wondered if those chocolates really did go in the trash or I was looking right at them.

After a couple of hours just sitting there, I was faced with some problems, one, I really needed to pee and two, I was wearing my suit so if I peed in it, next time I went into battle, i was going to faced with a bit of a problem, but of course when my hopes of getting out of here alive were gone, they finally fell asleep.

'Finally, God Bless America, they're asleep' I slowly got up just in case they suddenly got up and kill me, then seeing that they were really asleep, I quickly the remaining chocolates and ran over to the window, I was about to open it when I realised that I had a chance to blackmail Steve which was next to impossible, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and toke the photo then I opened the window before flying over to my car thinking 'Now back to my beloved Pietro'.


	3. Blackmail

Clint's pov

I woke up just too bang my head on the vents, _'Shit, that hurt'_ I thought as I rubbed my sore head _,_ then I remembered what happened last night and I smiled evilly, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket, 'Oh I'm going too have so many blackmailing rights with this'.

ThenIfelt a whoosh of air as Pietro rushed around his room, messing up then clean it up and burst out the door all within fifteen seconds _,_ 'Wonder what woke Pietro up' _._

It was well known too the Avengers how much Pietro liked his sleep and if he was woken by anyone but himself or Wanda you would find you room trashed and your most private stuff shown to the other Avengers and sometimes the world.

But then I remembered the other thing the Avengers did at this time and I crawled though the vents as if my life depended on it, back to my room then I quickly jumped to the floor, already tearing off my suit got out and pulling on the nearest casual top along with a jacket and stuffed my phone in the pocket before putting a pair of pants as quickly as I could.

Then I heard someone knock and then the door opened to reveal Cap, who was smiling widely then he said "Come on Clint, the others are waiting for you", and I knew I was completely and utterly doomed.

As a little joke among the Avengers if someone didn't come down to breakfast five minutes after Pietro got out of his room, then every Avenger got to have that Avenger do two things of their choosing, including questions.

But of course, if they chose too, a Avenger could do it for you and I smiled evilly and said "So Cap, how is your late night fonduing been going?" and Cap's smile slide off his face and he said "Wha-Wha-What fonduing?".

I smiled even wider and I walked just out of arms reach of him "Oh come on Cap, you don't have to hide it along with the fact that you don't put those chocolates in the bin" I said as I patted the pocket with my phone in it.

Steve looked like he was staring at his own death then he sighed and sounding defeated he said "What do you want?" _'_ I'm liking this blackmailing stuff already' "All I want you to do for you _right now_ is for you to cover for me" and Steve gasped "But, But" I almost died trying not to laugh at his face, _'_ I've never seen Cap look so scared' and when I pulled my phone out of my pocket, Cap hastily said "Deal" and then right on time I heard Nat shout "Are you two coming or what?" and I knew that the fun was just beginning.


	4. The Last Day

Bruce's pov

Me and Tony were working in lab when suddenly Steve walked in and said "Have you two seen Clint this morning?" I frowned and searched my memory before saying "Nope, why do you want to know?" Steve smiled "Well, Pietro's up and I just wanted to be sure" and with that Tony said "Well then what are we standing around here for, lets go" and we walked into the living room.

We were greeted by the Avengers who be then some like Cap, Nat, Thor and Tony looked like it was Christmas along with Pietro, while others like myself were thinking of the best ways to humiliate Clint, then suddenly an alarm beeped and me and Tony sat down before looked at Cap and said "Steve will you and tell Clint the good news please" and the blond haired, all American, super soldier said "Of course" before walking down the hallway towards Clint's room, looking like a kid who had just received a big bag of sweets.

After serval minutes sitting down, waiting, thinking really hard and talking about who would go first, many of us were pretty much falling asleep,'What is taking those two so long' I thought, but then I saw Wanda's expression change to that frown she did when she was reading someone's mind, then Nat just signed before shouting "Are you two coming or what".

And finally Clint walked into the living room, followed by Steve, then I noticed that something was wrong, Clint was grinning like a manic while Steve looked like he had just died and come back, and then Tony said "So Clint, ready to be the of entertainment for the day" and Clint laughed before saying "I think that today, Cap will be taking my place".

I was shocked, many of the Avengers had tried to get questions out of Cap for ages, but all had failed, I mean nobody had been able to blackmail Cap like ever, until now, Tony cleared his throat "Well then, Nat would you please start us off" and Nat looked plain evil.

"I want you to kiss the one you think is the best looking guy in the Avengers" Steve looked horrified and I started thinking 'Please don't be me, please don't be me' then Steve walked up to Pietro and quickly kissed him on the cheek, I noted that Clint looked furious 'Interesting, very interesting' and then we all looked at Nat waiting, and Nat leaned back and asked Steve "In wartime, did you ever sleep in a bed with someone?".

Steve was speechless, for a second and we all leaned closer, eager to hear Steve's answer, then he said "Bucky" and we just end stared except Tony, who had a heartbroken face, then he hastily added "It was wartime and there wasn't a lot of money" I saw that Clint was slightly sniggering, and I raised an eyebrow 'What's all this about'.

Then it was Pietro's turn, and the speeder said "Aright, I want your suit and shield for the rest of the day" ans Steve sighed "Fine" and five minutes later, Pietro was complete, suit, shield and all, and many of us fell over laughing he just looked too funny in the red, white and blue suit and shield.

And the moment was completed when Pietro said "Cheese, this is so tight" then I heard a whisper coming from the floor that sounded like "Hey, that my line" then Pietro sat down again before saying "And for my second thing, I want you to buy me ten boxes of caramel chocolate" and Steve blushed for some reason and behind him Clint raised an eyebrow then Steve said "Alright" but it sounded a little forced and I had to smile.

And we all turned towards Tony, to hear his choices, and Tony was smiling like the piece of mind controlling crap downstairs then he said "Alright Cap, I want you to wear nothing but your underpants for the rest of the day" Steve turned his head to looked at Wanda, who had her head in her hands, then I turned to look at Tony with raised eyebrows, it was long rumoured that Tony had a major crush on Steve.

'And I think this just proved it', and two minutes later, Steve had stripped down to his red, white and blue striped underpants, and again Pietro completed the moment by saying "You have your uniform on your underpants".

And after that extremely embarrassing moment for Cap, Tony said "And now, I want you to Cap to drink 10 litres of my plum smoothie" and everyone knew that Tony's secretly made smoothie was dangerous, deadly and would have someone in the bathroom for an hour after five minutes, but 10 litres.

'Tony would have Steve shitting his pants before he'd even finished', and then we were lead towards a table with four big jugs on it, Tony gesturing to the table said "Well Cap, there's your smoothie" and when Steve muttered something under his breath, I was very tempted to say "LANGUAGE" and with a disgusted look on his face, Steve picked up the first jug and started.

After an hour of pant shitting, toilet slushing and Tony's manic laughing, that my mind gladly got rid of later, it was Thor's turn, and in Thor's big booming god voice, he said "I WANT YOU TO BUY ME TEN BOXES OF THE TARTS OF POOP AND THEN CHALLENGE ME TO A TARTS OF POOP EATING COMPETITION" 'Of course, turst Thor to come up with a challenge involving poptarts' then Steve groaned before leaving to go get the pop tarts and the chocolates for the already hyperactive speeder.

Two and a half hours later, in which Clint vanished out of the building in his purple car and returned two hours later with crazy glint in his eyes and the victory grin on his face, Steve turned up with the boxes of poptarts and chocolates, with the chocolates vanishing into he speeder's dark room within twenty seconds, then the poptart eating competition ended with Thor stuffing his face and Steve vomiting it up, and it was hilarious, then it was Vision's turn.

Now knowing Vision was probably thinking about what he was going to ask Steve the whole time, it was either going to be something really boring and practical or a question that everyone desperately wanted to know, then in his robotic Javis voice, he said "I want you to teach me how to make pancakes" I looked at him thinking 'Seriously you went for something as boring and practical as learning to make pancakes' then I looked at Cap and for once he looked relieved, but not in the bathroom.

And Tony said "Looks like pancake testing will be happening" then Steve and Vision went into the kitchen with the door shutting behind behind them.

Forty five minutes of smoke alarms, sitting and the smell of burning Vision later, two plates were put in front of the Avengers, the one on the left looking and smelling completely burned and disgusting where as the one on the right looking like something from heaven, 'I'm really hoping that Steve didn't make the piece of burning shit on my left'.

Then Steve said "I think you should try Vision's first, gesturing to the plate on our left, and we all ate a bit and forced ourselves to shallow, it tasted like it had been dripped in petrol and toxic waste and set alight, while the other tasted like it had come from a dream, and I felt that we all had the same thought going through our heads, 'That's it, Steve making the food from now on' and I totally agreed with them.

Then we all sat back down for Vision's next choice, and it was "Have you ever proposed to someone?" and for the first in my life I saw that Steve had fear in his eyes and his cheeks were a light shade of pink, before saying "Nope, nobody" and I saw that behind him Clint frowned, as if he was considering Cap's words very carefully then his face returned to that manic grin he had on earlier, and I knew that Cap was utterly and completely screwed.

But right now, it was Wanda's turn and seeing that she could read minds we all knew this was worth listening to, Steve looked like his was now his last seconds of life, and for Wanda's first request, she said "What is your biggest fear?" and Steve opened his mouth then closed it and thought for a moment before saying "Ice" and I thought, 'Hmmm...what a useful piece of information', then I had an idea.

We all at Wanda who nodded in confirmation that Cap was telling the truth, then she asked for something that shocked Cap so much that he fell over a chair and landed on the ground, blushing red before saying "But, but Wanda" and Clint said "Come on Cap, you're meant to be Captain America after all" and Steve blushed a deep red and Tony said "Alright, Bruce you can go as our informant".

'Did you have to choose me as the informant, I mean this is Steve's diary we're talking about who knows what he's drawn in it' but I knew there was no talking out of it and I gave Steve a sorry look, before getting up thinking 'Shit I am so dead'.

I walked into Cap's room feeling reasonably safe since Steve had tried to break free from the others and defend whatever was in that diary, so they shoved him into the storeroom and put Thor's hammer on the door, and the I heard the door shut and lock behind me then I heard Tony say "Good luck, bang on the door when you're done".

I sighed thinking 'Really hating you right now Tony' then I looked around and I saw a red, white and blue diary lying partly under his pillow,so I picked it up and flicked through the pages, many of the drawings inside were of a short hariered brunette who's name was James Buchanan Barnes and sometimes just Bucky and that got me thinking 'Isn't that the one Cap said he had slept with in wartime' and the others had name under the drawings as well, like Peggy Carter or The Howling Commandos, 'I knew Steve was a better drawer than he was letting on' .

But I was just about to leave when I looked back at the diary thinking 'This seems to easy, I mean with the way Steve was acting and the fact it was just there, easily within sight' so I decided to look around at little more and five minutes later, I found another diary, this one was dark blue with two rings lying underneath, 'Well Cap, what do we have here' but I only flicked through a couple of pages before I quickly stuffing the diary and the rings into the nearest draw 'And I thought you were honourable Cap'.

Then I felt seriously ill, I placed my hand over my mouth and hammered on the door and when the door opened I burst through the other Avengers and ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me, 'I never want to go near that thing again'.

Then after ten minutes of vomiting continually, I came out knowing three things about what was in Steve's diary, one the drawings all of the same person, two that person had brunette hair and a metal arm and the third detail I didn't even want to think about.

And finally after Steve was let out of the storeroom, it was my turn to torment Steve and one Loki told him I had seen his actual diary and he was going to regret what I was honing to say next, and for my first one, I said "I want you to stay in the freezer for forty minutes".

Steve shivered and Clint said, sounding pure evil "Right then, Cap would you please follow me to the kitchen" and Steve looked at me with pleading eyes, but he got no sympathy at all from me as they shoved him into the freezer and placed Thor's hammer on it, despite the fact that he was wearing nothing but his Captain America underpants, and I started thinking about what I would ask him to do next.

After we got Cap out of the freezer and he finally defrosted again, but still dripping wet, we all sat down again with Climt and Nat grinning like it was Halloween which was no surprise at all, seeing that they had just found out Cap's worst fear actually worked, I almost felt sorry for him, but then I noticed that the other Avengers were waiting and then there was that diary,'I swear I will be vomiting in my nightmares for year because of that ... thing' and then I asked Cap I knew we all wanted an answer to.

"How did you get out of the river?" and even though he had been in the freezer for over half an hour, he looked like he was revisiting a happy memory, then he replied "I was saved by an old friend" and I knew many of us were cursing on the inside clearly wanted a better answer, then I saw Nat had that smirk she had on her face when she knew something we really wanted to know, and I knew that both she and Wanda would be bombarded with questions later.

Now it was time, the moment we had all been waiting for all day, it was finally Clint's turn, 'With the way he was grinning like a manic a couple of times, I know this was worth waiting for' but nothing prepared me for what he said next, it was the question of all questions we wanted to know from Steve, "Have you ever been engaged ?".

Steve stared at the ground and whispered "Yes" and even Wanda was shocked by his answer, and that was saying something,'That would explain the rings in his room', then suddenly we all burst out of the trance and Clint said "To who, Peggy?, Sharon?, Nat?" I glared at Clint for that one, but he didn't notice "Some strange weird army girl we never knew about?, Tony?".

Then finally Steve blushing purple with anger and embarrassment yelled "IT WAS BUCKY, I WAS ENGAGED TO BUCKY BARNES".

Glasses shattered, jaws dropped and my mind exploded with connections like the diaries, the rings and the questions from today, 'Why didn't I see this coming' but then all havoc broke loose as everyone surged forward with things like "Congratulations Cap" "Barnes you're one hell of a lucky man" "Why didn't you tell us sooner, Capsicle" and it went now for hours, so I slipped back into the lab.

But then of course, the Avengers threw a massive, well small but impressive Congratulations Cap party, where they seriously, for the millionth time, tried to get Cap drunk, which was doomed to fail and continually asked about Bucky and everytime someone asked about him, Steve had that dreamy look in his eye and a quiet smile on his face, but they didn't get a single answer out of him which didn't surprise me.

Then I remembered that Clint had found a way, so I turned around, and i saw that Clint was trying to sneak up on Pietro and kiss him, but then Pietro saw him at the last moment and ran, at normal speed towards Wanda and Clint, fearing for his life ran as fast as he could back to his room, and I looked back at Pietro, who looked seriously relieved, not knowing that someone was staring at him through the vents.

After everyone had gone to sleep, except for me of course, I was just to captivated to finishing the project me and Tony had been working on, and Tony being Tony had gotten himself so drunk that I doubted he would be able to get out of bed for some time.

But then I heard a door closeing in the hallway and I raised an eyebrow, 'Well well what do we have here' and I quickly walked out of the lab to see Cap sneaking down the hallway, towards the elevator, and the eyebrow raised again 'Wonder where Cap is sneaking off out to in the middle of the night' I thought as Steve vanished out of sight in the dark, then I remembered what was in the diary and I shuddered then I walked back into the lab and closed the door behind me, but of course then I turned around.

And my last thought was"HOLY SHIT".


	5. The Beginning

Tony's pov

And it all began when...

I woke up from a very, no seriously good dream about Steve, to none other than the sound of screaming and crying, I turned over and looked at my clock then sighed loudly, it was three o'clock in the morning, then I got out of my nice warm bed and stomped over to the door, and opened it yelling "There better be a seriously good reason for this".

Then Vision flowed up to me and said in a calm voice "Sir I think we may have a problem" I glared at him "You think, I just woke up at THREE O'CLOCK IN THE BLOODY MORNING" I furiously switched on the lights and the first thing I saw was a baby Loki sitting in the hallway, screaming and crying and I was shocked then I yelled "HOLY SHIT" then behind me, Vision said "He's not the only one ".

Two hours later, we found one baby Bruce in the lab along with my ruined invention and baby Wanda and baby Nat in the lounge room and for some reason they were watching Ghostbusters, then I called Hill, who answered sounding tried and annoyed "What is it Tony?" "Ah there's been a um little problem here and I could really use your help" and Hill answered "I will be thre soon" before ending the call.

I put down my phone and made myself a cup of coffee,'Just what I need on a day like this' but then of course, just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse, the elevator opened to reveal a fuming Maria Hill holding a scrawny baby Steve, she walked past me and put baby Steve on the ground with the others and turned to face me, and said in a dangerously calm voice "I take it you're the one who turned most of the Avengers into tiny children when I was slepping at three o'clock in the morning".

I frowned "I say it as if I exactly asked it to explode" I said sounding offered and she gave my the 'Seriously Tony' look and then I opened my mouth to say something when I heard a loud crash coming from the kitchen and I froze in horror, there was only one person that I knew that could cause that much havoc in the kitchen, and that person was Thor.

"Okay we approach the kitchen with extreme caution" I said to Hill, Vision and the Baby Avengers, and expecting the worse, I walked towards the kitchen with Hill, Vision and the Baby Avengers not far behind and I held my breath, as I pushed open the door to see that my beautiful kitchen as a complete mess, all the food had been splattered on the walls or had been eaten by a very sick looking baby Thor.

I backed quickly away, picking up Steve so that he would be safe from the gas or the vomit of Thor, and counted down the seconds, then Thor whimpered loudly, and I yelled "RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" as I picked up baby Bruce with my other hand and we all ran into the nearest room, which happened to be Pietro's, and shut the door behind us, just before the explosive toxic bomb went off and nearly broke the door off it's hinges.

'We made it, only just, but we made it' I thought as I put Steve and Bruce on the ground, then I said "Alright, let's do a headcount, Steve, Bruce, Nat, Hill, Wanda, Vision, Pietro and me, we're all safe" then Vision said "Not quite, Clint is still missing and Loki... didn't make it" I shivered 'Even Loki didn't deserve that fate' then a coughing, hacking sound interrupted my thoughts, it seemed to be coming from vents above Pietro's bed.

Then something crashed out out of the vents, screaming "CAW, CAW" as it come down, then in front of everyone in the room, a completely overexcited baby Clint landed on a almost naked, very shocked Pietro, everything went silent, but then Wanda, looking furious screamed out something in Russian, and from the way both Pietro and Nat were looking at her with wide eyes, I could tell that what she had said was not good, not good at all, then a blushing Pietro a very disappointed looking baby Clint off him.

I looked at Hill, who was silently sniggering, then I noticed that Steve was looking at the three very closely, his eyes gleaming strangely and I raised an eyebrow, but then I thought 'Shit I forgot to turn on the Thor emergency safety systems' then I looked at Wanda.

Two hours later, we opened the door and baby Loki fell on the floor at our feet, then Steve and Bruce helped him up, he looked shocked and was mewing like a kitten' 'I wonder if that's where mewling quim come from' I thought sniggering then I called Rodey and Falcon, informing them about the baby Avengers and asking them if they could help look after them, and they said that they would come as soon as possible.

I put my phone on the table and sighed in relief, little knowing that Falcon was sending this information to one James Buchanan Barnes as I just sat there for thirty minutes, then Hill walked up to me and said "So what do we do now?", I turned to Hill and said "Well since Thor's eaten everything in the kitchen and we don't have any baby clothes, I think that we have the serious need to go to the mall".

Bucky's pov

I had been laying on the couch, eating chocolates and glancing up at the door every few seconds hoping that Steve would show up for at least five hours, when suddenly my phone started ringing, I groaned and picked it up, and seeing that it was Falcon I felt slightly disappointed, I was hoping that it was Steve.

But despite the fact that I also hated him a lot I said "Falcon, there better be a seriously good reason for why you're calling me at seven in the morning" then Falcon said, sounding half shocked half scared "It's Steve" I leaped up prepared to run out, and I said my voice shaking "Steve, what about Steve, is he hurt is he... dead, what's wrong with him?" I felt fear piece my like a cold knife until I heard Falcon laughing, "Get's you everytime".

Anger shot through me and I yelled "WHAT'S WRONG WITH STEVE, YOU BETTER BLOODY TELL ME RIGHT F*UCKING NOW, OR I SWEAR..." "All right, all right, calm down Winter" "DON'T CALL ME THAT YOU MOTHERF**KING PIECE OF F*CKING BIRD SHIT" then Falcon said after cracking up "HEY, in the words of Stevie Rogers... LANGUAGE".

By this point, I was so furious, that I was prepared to smash the phone and murdrer that evil bird shit, but this was about Stevie, so I kept back the Winter Soldier, only just "GET TO THE POINT ALREADY OR I SWEAR I WILL WINTER SOLDIER YOUR ASS", Falcon after the theat of getting his ass kicked, big time said "Steve as well as many of the other Avengers have become... um ah... turned into tiny children".

"WHAT... MY STEVIE HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A BABY... HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN... and who else has been turned?" I froze waiting, and feared for the worse, if that evil shot Tony had my Stevie,"Um well, Steve, Clint, Wanda, Pietro, Bruce and Nat have been turned as far as I know" 'NOOOOO!, how could I let that pile of crap get my Stevie' and even fear flowed through me, I decided to get pay back "So Stevie, the arrow guy, a Russian trained assassin, that speedy dude, that smart guy and a evil mind-controlling witch...".

"HEY, SHE'S NOT EVIL AND SHE'S ISN'T A WITCH, SO DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN" I raised an eyebrow 'So he does like her, how interesting' "So you're in love with the..." but before I could finish, he had hung up, then I thought 'I have to get my Stevie back before... something bad happens to him' a wave of protectiveness for Steve flowed through me, but before I could get up or even put down my phone, Falcon called again.

I hesitated, fearing that this was comeback, but instead Falcon said, deadly serious "Okay, let's get this straight, I ABSOLUTELY F*CKING HATE EVERY WINTERISH BIT OF YOU, but this is about Stevie, and since I can't be there to protect him... wait a moment" 'What the hell was all that about, did he just ask for my help, there's a first'.

Then Falcon coughed before sniggering and continued, sounding completely evil "Alright Winter, let's make a deal..." 'Why do I have a bad feeling about this' but then I Sid, sounding nervous "Okay, what do you want?" Falcon coughed importantly "I can give you a piece of information that could get you back your precious Stevie Rogers if..." 'Oh no, there was a if, this is bad, very bad'.

"You never offend Wanda in any way again, and..." 'Shit, Shit, Shit' "If you guys get engaged right after Stevie and yourself get back to being Barnes and Noble" 'Engaged, seriously, this is bad, I haven't been engaged to Steve since before I became the Winter Soldier but... wait' "BARNES AND NOBLE" I shouted in embarrassment "Well, I thought it was a better than St..." "I get the picture, now the information please".

There was a pause and I sighed "Fine, I will do it, happy now" "Thank you, now I just happened to hear that Tony and the Baby Avengers are to the mall, around about now" 'Finally, good piece of news' then Falcon hung up again and I put my phone down and walked over to the fridge and grabbed myself a Coke, but then I that all my plums were gone, because I had eaten them all 'Sigh, well I will just have to get them back too' .

Then I noticed something strange behind the TV, so I walked over and picked it up, it was an arrow with a hawk on it, 'Shit, the archer dude was here, then Steve didn't show up...' My eyes widened with shock 'He knows, he has prove, and he blackmailed Steve'.

I shivered, now more than a ever I just wanted Steve to be back, to be here with me, I had never felt so completely alone, I'm with you until the end of the line, I smiled at he memory of the line that promised us we were still there for each other, no matter what, then I got up and put on my cap before bursting through the door and flying down the stairs 'It's time too get me some plums'.

I thought as the promise whispered in my mind, and I knew that I would get him back, no matter what, we would be Barnes and Noble again.


	6. Baby Avengers and the Mallnapping

Tony's pov

Who knew a mall trip could be that bad, I mean seriously, it's the mall for crying out loud, but I suppose anything is possible when you have the baby avengers

I mean it started out okay, we got in the car without any trouble, well... apart from Pietro running around breaking everything, Clint refusing to leave Pietro's room without taking Pietro's pillow with him, Loki still mewing like a kitten and having to be carried everywhere, Wanda and Nat attacking me at random times and Steve fainting at my swearing, there wasn't a single problem.

But I should have noticed something was wrong when on the car ride there, they all huddled together and whispered quietly amongst themselves and many of them looked plain evil, but at the time I was tired as all hell hunting after them all morning, so I didn't give a shit about what they did.

When we finally got there after ten exhausting minutes, the baby avengers went completely silent as me and Hill literally fought over who would take who, which ended with me getting a kick up the butt, a broken rigorous two and a lot of pain, we decided that Hill would take Nat, Wanda, Steve and Pietro and that of course left me to look after the mind controlling piece of shit, a walking toxic gas bomb, a bird brained archer and baby Bruce.

After an hour of walking around boring shops I got Thor a blue top, black pant and a red jacket, I let Loki just nick whatever he wanted and he ended up gating himself a green top, black pants to match his annoying hair and a sparkly gold jacket.

I almost got away with getting Clint a stupid looking bird costume but since I couldn't stand the continuous "Caw, Caw", I got him a purple t-shirt with a arrow on it, silver pants and a black jacket, just so he would shut up for a few minutes and leave me in peace, and lastly I got Bruce an amazing black shirt with a small pair of purple pants then I got the most magnificent jacket I could find then we set off to find the others.

We met the others outside the food court, well apart from Hill, who had left a note she had gone to get the food, where I saw that Hill had got Nat serval pairs of black leather jackets, along with a red t-shirt and black pants and masses of shining black boots and beside her, Wanda had a red jacket, silver top and like Nat serval black boots.

Behind them was the chocolate obsessed Pietro who was dressed completely in silver with a new pair of silver sneakers and completely surrounded with bags of chocolate, but then I saw something that made my heart melt, Steve.

How was like a American flag, all red, white and blue, with a deep blue jacket along with a new backpack, he was just to cute with his golden hair and big blue eyes, but as I later realised, this was all part of their plan, or at least I thought it was.

Because when I turned around to make sure Loki was still there and not running around stealing things, I saw something terrible, Thor had vomited which caused Clint too go run around screaming "Caw Caw" and start jumping up and down, before peeing on Natasha's clothes and letting out a relived "Caw, Caw".

And of course, Nat screamed at him in Russian, and start attacking Clint with Wanda by her side, which caused Pietro to start running around yelling in horror, but then I heard Loki's high pitched scream then start running away from a whimpering Thor and I thought 'Seriously this is the sec...'.

But my thoughts were interrupted by a big toxic gas cloud and the sound of the Baby Avengers running in every direction, then I fainted.

Bucky's pov

I was in the very important process of getting my precious plums, well more like stealing my plums... but that doesn't matter, when I saw a black haired baby in a sparkly gold jacket run into the shop and then he just vanished.

I frowned 'What the hell?" then I saw a flash of blue fly past the shop and I thought 'What the hell is going on, this is weird, the sooner I find Stevie and get out of here, the better'.

I looked around and picked up more plum, but before I could stuff it in my backpack, I saw a sad looking baby with messy blond hair stop in front of the shop looking heartbroken, I suddenly felt a sure of protectiveness that made me remember when I first saw Steve, it must have been the kid's golden hair.

And I walked up to him and handed out the plum in my hand, I smiled 'I already have enough plums' and the baby quickly toke and then he looked up at me cheerfully and muttered something that sounded like "Caw, Caw".

'Caw, caw... Oh shit, it's the archer dude in miniature' I ruffled the miniature archer's hair and said "You're one good spy, I will give that" then I walked away from the happy little spy thinking 'If the archer dude is here then that means Stevie is close by' I looked back at the baby archer and thought 'He is so cute, I think I will save too'.

I was so set on finding Steve that I didn't notice anything around me until I crashed into someone and my backpack slipped off my back as I was thrown flat to the floor, 'Great, just great James, you're the world's biggest idiot' I quickly got up, trying to maintain a little dignity, and turned around to see the person who had crashed into me and said in a dangerously angry voice "Watch where you're going, will you".

Then I realised that the person I was talking to was the pile of crap who had taken my Stevie, Tony.

And he was staring at me in shock, and I relished that the right arm of jacket was ripped and the metal underneath was glinting and I thought 'Shit, quick Bucky, do something'.

Then I did something that I had wanted to do for ages, I hit Stark over the head with my metal arm, and that definitely caught their attention 'Like I didn't have enough before', so I quickly picked up my backpack, and for a moment I thought I saw a flying baby Cupid as I got the hell out of there.

'Stevie will have to wait, along with the cute baby hawk spy, and I think it's time I got out the Winter Soldier costume'.

Nat's pov

Well even though I was a tiny red haired baby I found many interesting things to do and most of them that could be used as blackmail for later purposes which were quite easy to get, when you had a phone.

After Thor's very helpful gas bomb, I hid behind a nearby chair and made very sure that I didn't breathe through my nose and watched Tony cough and hack and then fainting which I obviously recorded, he looked ridiculous then he woke up and finally ran off.

Then I saw I saw Steve run into a nearby jewellery store and then stuff a beautiful necklace into his backpack, which was followed by a stunning silver ring along with a dazzling gold ring with a shining ruby.

And a couple of minutes later, and at least a dozen nicked things Steve walked out, leaving everyone in the store fainting over his cuteness, then he saw me and smiling brightly, he ran up to me holding out a silver necklace with a shining sapphire.

It was very pretty, I toke it out of his hand and hung it around my neck, it was cool against my skin, then Steve leaned close and kissed me, his lips were soft, it was like kissing a marshmallow, and I blushed deeply, then we broke apart, and Steve said in his soft beautiful voice "I luv you", before walking off to nick the next jewellery store.

Then I heard a loud "CAW! CAW!", and I smirked and got out my phone as I turned and filmed baby Clint looking like he was trying to fly with his tiny wings, he was like a baby Cupid, but I falling baby Cupid.

But before he hit the floor, he caught by baby Pietro, who had left a deep mark in the ground from running that fast.

Then a very alive, very happy looking Clint wrapped his arms around the speeder's waist and leaned closer to the speeder, then they kissed, it was so cute, with Pietro blushing madly, when they finally broke apart, Clint said "caw, caw" in a endearing tone, which I may have pretty much translated to "F*ck me", because after that he put his hand down Pietro's pa...

Well let's just say I got the hell out of there! Really fast.

And when I finally stopped, I smiled at my phone and thought 'Wanda will definitely kill Clint after this'.

On the way to Wanda, I saw and filmed Thor eating everything, and I mean everything that was put infront of his face... Including tables.

And I made note never to put my hand anywhere near his face.

Loki going around scaring people and taking whatever he wanted, Bruce getting caught and arrested for trying to take whatever he wanted... by the police and taken away, in handcuffs and all, and I make note that we had to save him later, then I filmed Tony lying on the ground, surrounded by people and for so reason, plums.

I then found Wanda sitting in Starbucks (wink) quietly sipping her twentieth coffee,then when she saw me, she said "Hey, Tasha" in perfect baby Russian, and I replied, in my own perfect baby Russian "Hey Wanda, any chance I could get a coffee around here?".

Wanda smiling said "Totally", then she mind controlled a waiter, who quickly returned with my coffee, and as we sat quietly sipping our coffee, I considered telling Wanda about Pietro and the baby Cupid incident but then I decided that I would blackmail them first.

Then Hill showed up and "Come on girls, it's time to go", and behind her was Steve, his golden hair shining and his big blue eyes melted my heart, but then the moment was ruined because Tony showed up and complaining about everything, I was so pissed off that I was ready to punch him in the face, despite being the smallest baby avenger.

Loki's pov

After my brother's toxic gas, I just ran as far away as I could, but it wasn't just because of my brother, I was being chased by the really fast baby who was dressed completely in silver, he really really liked my sparkly jacket so I had to get away from the silver guy somehow...

So I ran into the nearest store, which happened to sell fruit, then I turned myself into the next thing I saw, which happened to a plum, then I blacked out, which was very bad, very bad.

When I could see clearly again, I saw that I was about to be eaten by the cute baby hawk 'Wait... did I just call him cute, you're about to be eaten, do something!'.

Then I turned back into my very cute baby self and kissed the baby hawk archer, and the last thing I saw was his shocked face before I teleported to the other end of the mall, and I walked around, scaring people and taking anything I wanted.

And all the time thinking 'I kissed him... I kissed him... I love him... Shit, I kissed him...I kissed him...I love him, so f*ucking much...Oh f*uck I want to f*uck him so f*ucking bad' and knowing my face was a very deep red.


End file.
